


home is where i want to be

by toddperry



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Fluff, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Valentines, anderperry being all cute, as they should be, dpstwt valentines exchange 2021, neil and todd go on a date that's totally platonic... totally...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:01:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29412336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toddperry/pseuds/toddperry
Summary: Both Todd and Neil are alone on Valentine's Day, they decide to go on a 'platonic' date to feel a little less lonely.
Relationships: Anderperry - Relationship, Todd Anderson/Neil Perry
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	home is where i want to be

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alina (@charliedalton59)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=alina+%28%40charliedalton59%29).



> hiii i hope you enjoy the fic <3 title is from 'this must be the place' by talking heads, aka the most romantic song ever imo (other than love story), neil and todd being happy can be so personal, also i didn't really think about how the lake would be ice cold in february so just pretend it's actually a warm climate in vermont at that time of year <3

Both of them were going to be lonely on Valentine’s Day, that is what led to this. Todd expected it for himself, when they went into town for the dances at the weekend he always failed to talk to girls. Of course, he didn’t really want to talk to them anyways, but when all your friends are shimmying it up on the dance floor with one you do tend to feel a bit left out. 

Neil always had a dance partner, in fact they came in floods the second the Poets stepped through the door to the dance hall, every girl wanted to dance with Neil. It was obvious why though, he had that charismatic smile and those dimples which appeared whenever he used it, his hair always fell perfectly in place too; Todd would spend ages with the hair gel before they went out to make sure it looked good, but all Neil had to do was swipe his hand through and he would look like he had stepped out of a magazine spread.

Everybody loved Neil and everybody wanted him, and that was why Todd was left perplexed by the fact that he was also without a Valentines date. Todd didn’t linger too much on the jealousy he felt as well, he had gotten over the fact that Neil could never like him back long ago. But as a friend he wanted Neil to find happiness, even if it was not with him.

Someone must have asked Neil, at least one of the girls had to have been bold enough. Todd had overheard one girl at the dance the other night hinting that Neil should ask her out, but Neil had seemed oblivious to the insinuation, even though it wasn’t very subtle. 

When Todd asked him what his plans were for the day, given that everyone else had dates, Neil had looked at his feet and shuffled about a bit before looking back up again and saying “Nothing, uh, I have no plans.” Todd thought he looked a little sad about it, and later he’d look back and wonder what made him decide to be so bold for once. Keating’s advice to seize the day had clearly been having a strong effect because then Todd was suggesting “We could do something… together?” Todd paused abruptly, suddenly thinking Neil would find that weird. But Neil was only looking at him curiously, as if he was trying to work some problem out, so he gathered himself up and continued, “I only mean because we’ll both be alone, and we might as well be lonely together… we could put a picnic together and go down to the pier, of course only if you want to because I don’t want to impose if you want to spend it alone-” Neil cut his nervous rambling off with a chuckle,

“Are you asking me on a date, Anderson?” Neil smirked at him, but not in a mocking way, in fact Todd thought he looked a little nervous himself, his cheeks had reddened a bit and the tops of his ears looked pink. But Todd thought nothing of it, Neil was probably just a bit embarrassed by it, no one wants it rubbed in that they’re alone and Todd probably just put salt in the wound. Now he just felt bad, like he might have upset Neil- Todd knew he tended to hide these emotions with a cheeky smile and people often moved past it, but not Todd. 

Maybe he was overthinking it though, and this was confirmed when he was brought out of his anxious reverie by Neil gently tapping the side of his head, “Todd, hey Todd,” when he had gotten Todd’s attention he continued, “I’d love to do something with you. We can go to the pier like you said, I uh, I’d like that.” 

Now it was Todd’s turn to get a little red, and he felt the familiar warmth of a blush spread across his cheeks. A funny look appeared in Neil’s eye, and Todd had barely a moment to consider it before the other boy abruptly reached out and ran his thumb across Todd’s cheek. Todd felt a little dazed and Neil looked it too, the moment felt like it lasted for hours but it could only have been a few seconds before Neil pulled his hand back from Todd’s face and stuttered out “There was a bit of dirt,” before he turned away quickly and strode off leaving Todd left behind, a little dumbfounded. He hadn’t been doing anything that would get dirt on him, but he had little reason to doubt Neil, so he shrugged it off. He followed after the other boy, they had class now anyways, and he tried to put it all out of his mind. 

But over the following days he could not ignore how pleasant it had felt when Neil had touched his cheek, and how desperately he wanted Neil to do it again. Todd was filled with nervous anticipation for Valentines, because even though Neil was joking when he asked if Todd was inviting him out on a date and that it was only meant to be platonic, in some ways it would be like a proper date, or at least Todd could pretend it was one because it might be all that he would ever get. He was excited, he wanted it to be good and he had spent a large amount of his spare time trying to think up a little surprise to make it special. 

That was how he ended up in the school kitchens on the thirteenth of February, it turned out that the cooks were quite fond of his older brother Jeff when he was at Welton and they agreed to let Todd bake a cake. The group of women had teased him for it and nicknamed him ‘Loverboy’ while they supervised because he had told them it was a gift for Valentines, he thinks that was what won them over really, because they all cooed and said how sweet he was and that the girl was so lucky to have a boy like him, little did they know the cake was for Neil. It was a lemon drizzle; Neil had said it was his favourite once when they sat up late telling stories. This fact had come from a tale about one birthday where Charlie and Neil had had a joint party, and Charlie blew the candles out on both their cakes. Neil said he didn’t care that Charlie had taken his wish because he was only interested in eating the cake. 

The day finally arrived, Todd woke up nervous and when he sat up in bed, he noticed Neil had already left. Assuming the other boy had already gone down to breakfast, Todd got ready and went down to the dining hall too but when he saw their usual table all the Poets except Neil were present. He asked Charlie where he was, but the other boy had no clue and so Todd was at a loss. 

The two of them had agreed that they would make their way down to the pier just before twelve for their picnic, over the last few days they had built up a supply of food; Todd had saved his bread roll from the night before so that they could share it today and he had bought some other snacks when they had gone into town to the soda fountain. His cake was neatly wrapped up in some wax paper tied with a string and he was excited to give it to Neil because he knew the boy hadn’t had it since he was last at home, and that was at the beginning of term.

Neil reappeared shortly before the time they had set to begin their picnic, he wandered over to Todd, who was sat on a bench just outside the school, with one hand hidden behind his back. He had grass stains on his trousers, as though he had been kneeling on the ground and a small twig was caught in his hair, Todd smiled at the sight of him and stood up to brush it out for him, looking at him curiously he asked “Where have you been?” 

Neil pulled his hand out from behind his back then and revealed a small but beautiful bunch of flowers, Todd recognised that there were bluebells and marigolds with some baby’s breath in between the larger flowers. “For you.”

Todd was caught off guard by this but was positively beaming when he reached out to take the flowers from Neil, “They’re beautiful” he raised them to his nose and smelled them “thank you, Neil.” Neil smiled sweetly at him and they held eye contact for just a bit too long and Todd felt like the air around them had become electric. Neil tilted his head and quirked his eyebrow slightly, as thought he was considering something, before he took sprig of baby’s breath from the bunch and put in behind Todd’s ear, he looked back into Todd’s eyes a little shyly and softly said “Cute.” The spell was broken just a moment later though when a ball from a football game nearby bounced past them and they heard the distant call of “Sorry!” from whoever had kicked it at them. 

Neil cleared his throat and turned then towards where the pier was and suggested they head off and make their way down to it, when they arrived Neil lay down a picnic blanket he had brought with him and pulled out the food he had brought too, laying it all out neatly. Todd added his food, keeping the cake he had made aside, until they had amassed quite a spread for their picnic. Neil pulled two bottles of Coca-Cola out of his bag too and opened them, handing one to Todd before taking a sip of his own. 

They made idle chit-chat for a while, talking about school and what they were going to do after graduation. They were both planning on going to New York, Neil to drama school and Todd to study English Literature, in fact they spent a while discussing what kind of apartment they’d like since they were planning to continue living with each other in the city. Todd kept stopping eating every so often to smell his bunch of flowers. He thought this was all platonic and that his feelings were unrequited, but Neil’s gift of the flowers suggested that maybe he had a chance, he hoped he did anyways. But, he was too shy to be bold and he could not bear the embarrassment if he had got it wrong and Neil did not actually have feelings for him, after all, Neil was always dancing with the girls at the weekends and he had never suggested that he liked guys.

After a while Todd decided he’d give Neil the cake, but Neil was busy talking about the birds on the lake. He was saying how they were migratory and that it amazed him how they always found their way back home to the water here, and how he wished humans had a homing beacon like that. Todd thought to himself that maybe humans do have that in a way, some kind of string that pulls them towards the person they were made for, their soulmate. Sometimes Todd felt connected to Neil by an invisible string. Todd tapped him gently on the shoulder and said “Here, I baked this for you.”

Neil’s mouth parted slightly in wonder, “You baked me something?

Todd, with his cheeks turning rosy, replied “Yeah, um- it’s lemon drizzle”

Neil’s mouth widened into a bright smile then, so large that the corners of his eyes crinkled and he scrunched his nose up slightly, “You remembered it’s my favourite!” and Todd thought he looked so lovely at that moment, his eyes were bright and his hair looked soft and silkier than it usually looked, the sun shone on his skin so that he looked as though he had a pearlescent glow about it him and Todd realised then that he didn’t just like Neil, he loved him. 

“Of course I’d remember, you’re-“ he thought about confessing his feelings for a moment but chickened out at the last second “-you’re my best friend Neil.” 

“And you’re mine, Todd.” But the statement felt a little different, as if there was another meaning behind it, but before Todd could press any further Neil had stood up and was suggesting they dip their feet in the lake water. Todd nodded and they moved to sit closer to the pier edge and removed their shoes and socks, Neil reached over and rolled Todd’s trousers up for him and Todd followed suit and did the same for Neil. It felt strangely intimate. 

The water was cold when Todd lowered his legs into it, the weather that day was abnormally warm, so it didn’t feel too bad- it was actually kind of refreshing. Neil pulled some of the cake apart and handed it to Todd before doing the same for himself, Todd watched as he brought the piece to his mouth and then he watched for Neil’s reaction, hoping that he would like it.

Neil closed his eyes and rolled his head back, sighing dramatically he said, “Oh, Todd this is so good! Really, it might be the best I’ve ever had” and Todd’s ears turned a little red at the tips from the compliment and he knocked Neil’s shoulder with his own,

“You flatter me too much” and then he took a bite of his own slice, and he did have to admit it was delicious. Once he had finished it, he leant back with his hands against the pier floor behind him, he watched the clouds gently floating across the sky and for the first time in a while he felt truly content. They’d had exams just a week ago and so the last month had been filled with stress from revision and preparation, he and Neil had hardly had any time alone in fact now that he thought about it, and by the time they returned to their rooms at night from a study session, Dead Poets Society meeting, or one of the dance hall’s dances, they were so conked out they fell asleep straight away. A small cough broke his attention from his thoughts, and he turned to Neil who was looking at him, and Todd realised he had been watching him for a while,

“You deserve to be flattered more, Todd.” Neil said rather seriously, but sincerely, 

Todd chuckled under his breath a bit, “Neil… I wasn’t searching for reassurance or compliments there”

Neil grabbed Todd’s knee then, causing Todd to jump a little and look down at Neil’s hand, “No I mean it.”

Todd still staring at the other boy’s hand on his knee only managed out an “Oh.” The unsurety of the meaning of the admission left him speechless, did Neil like him?

“Don’t you think this feels a bit like a real date?” Neil rushed out suddenly,

Todd swallowed, the words were stuck in his throat, it did feel like one. The flowers, the way Neil had put one behind his ear, how the conversation flowed so easily, the gentle brush of Neil’s hand against his leg as he rolled up Todd’s trousers for him, Todd gathered his thoughts and responded, “Yeah… I think it does”

Neil’s whole body seemed to be completely relieved of tension then and he said, a lot more slowly this time, “I wish it was a real date”

“Wh-what Neil?” Todd was shocked he was confessing, still believing it was some misunderstanding on his part,

“I wish it were real, I wish you were my Valentine” Neil looked at him so sweetly then and Todd was overcome with love for the boy,

“You do?” Todd smiled at Neil, in fact it was probably the biggest smile to have ever graced his face,

“Yes” Neil titled his head, his eyes were glittering like stars from the sun’s reflection and Todd could have got lost in them, 

“Neil I-“he stammered with nerves “I wanted you to be mine too, I was too nervous to ask, I- I thought you liked girls”

“No, I like _you_ Todd… only you, it’s only ever been you”

“It’s only ever been you for me too, you’re my home and that’s where I always want to be; Home, with you.”

Neil’s mouth curled up into a smile then and Todd was mirroring it. Slowly, Todd closed his eyes and began to lean forward, if he was seizing the day by admitting his feelings, he was also going to seize it and kiss Neil. Neil moved forward too, but just as Todd got halfway to him Neil reached up and wiped Todd’s cheek like he had a few days ago, Todd opened his eyes to peer up at Neil curiously, “Crumb on your cheek” Neil chuckled when Todd rolled his eyes at him, but then he surged forward and pressed his lips to Todd’s in a chaste kiss. When he pulled back, he picked up Todd’s hand and ran his thumb over his palm, 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Todd” he lifted Todd’s hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it,

Todd mimicked him and pulled Neil’s hand back to his own lips before replying, “Happy Valentine’s Day to you too Neil” and then he intertwined their hands and they turned to look once again out over the lake, the sun now lower in the sky, and they were happy.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm @nuwanderism on twt if you want to say hi!


End file.
